March 22nd

It was 4 weeks exactly on this day that my dad was reunited with his son, my brother. Words can't express the void and hurt I've been experiencing. Not having a dad has never crossed my mind. He was only 57 and was taken without warning. 
I've been struggling with not being able to say goodbye to him. As the hours passed before he left I tried so hard to find a ticket to leave and be by him. I would have given ANYTHING to have been right next him, to have kissed his forehead, to have held is hand one last time. He just went so fast. I AM grateful that my mom put the phone to his ear so he could hear me say "I'm coming! I love you so much! I'm coming." I hope he heard me I hope he knew that I wanted nothing more then to be there.
As these past 4 weeks have past I've felt my dad around so much! It's crazy. It's unreal actually. I still can't believe that he's not here! My kids miss him dearly. They just want to Face time him. They know they'll see him again. But they just want to see him now.
I know that he's with me everyday. Everyday! It's amazing! Our home has been a little bit of heaven. It's been so beautiful. The spirit that's been felt is something I can't explain. It's so strong and so amazing.
I am so grateful for the gospel. I'm grateful for the knowledge I know...... That my dad's still living spiritually and he'll be waiting for me someday. I love that! How amazing that there's more to life then THIS life! This life is just a test. There's life after death. And THAT is something to be grateful for. The Lord loves me, he knows me and knows my heart.
Thanks so much again for the love so many of you have shown my family. I'm so grateful for amazing people in my life. So live like you've never lived, love those around you, forgive those that may have hurt you, take pictures because it's those that you'll have to look at and make memories. I love so many of you xoxoxoxo