Slowing down..... a little!
Life at my house has been a little bit slower these days. Photo shoots are starting to slow down a bit and I am starting to feel like I can actually be ahead of the game! Life was a MESS for a while! Phewww! I have been working on some craft projects like painting a dresser for Ty,finishing a FHE board from Super Sat., trying to finish my aprons from BUNKO, other little projects too and playing with my babies. It's been so nice! The weather is changing from beautiful Fall weather to cold,the trees are loosing their beauty weather! UGH! Last night it totally looked like it was going to snow.. FUN! Snow is so fun until January 1st then it's time for Spring..... right? Life is pretty good!
It's been a while since I have posted about my wanting a 3rd child (remember ladies this bloggin stuff is journal stuff too so please excuse me for being so personal). I have put TONS of thought into this and for a while really didn't get an answer. I was really getting annoyed at the whole thing. I mean here I was CHOOSING this and still no answer! But then it hit me one day... I was visiting teaching a sweet girl and she said.."maybe it doesn't matter what you choose and no matter what you'll be alright". WHAT!!! I felt soooooo good! Finally the peace I've been looking for. That's all I wanted, peace or no peace with my decision. So for a while I was gun hoe about it! But then you here bad stories about prego women and then the doubts start a comin! I don't doubt the Lord.... I doubt myself! Why is that? I mean I have Faith that it's going to be fine. Is it going to be a perfect delivery.....NO! Will I need a blood transfusion... YES! Doc is guessing around 6-7 pints but not sure. I may only need 1-2. Who knows right? I might not bleed at all! I might not even get pregnant! FAITH...that is what this is. I know there are people out there who may think I am stupid and selfish for doing this but if you were in my shoes you would know how strong I feel about this.
Church today was so great! It was what I needed to hear so badly! Our stake president was giving a talk on listening to the promptings of the spirit. He gave a talk about a man whose wife was pregnant. Something went wrong with the wife one day so the husband came home to check it out. She wasn't doing so good so he gave her a blessing. After that he called her doc to see what needed to be done. Her doc then said that she need to get to the hospital asap! But the hospital the doc wanted was about an hour away! The husband DID NOT feel good about it. So he said a quiet prayer and decided to take her to their tiny towns hospital. When he carried her in the doctors took her for immediate surgery. About an hour later the doctor came out with blood all over him and tears running down his face...... he looked at the husband and said" if you would have taken her to that hospital that was an hour away she would have not made it. Her spleen ruptured and she was bleeding a ton! A surgeon in the room with us gave her a blood transfusion right there in surgery. She is doing fine and will be fine too. By the way.... you are a father to a healthy little girl."
That husband listened to the promptings! I totally lost it. I left and went to the bathroom to get myself put back together. Then in Young Womens the stake talked about Faith and sometimes having to walk out in darkness. I lost it then too! Church was for me today that's for sure.
I guess I'll see what the Lord has in store for me. I am not pregnant and who knows if I'll ever get pregnant. All I know right now is I am happy, I have Faith, I am grateful for a temple that is so close because I love going and it has helped me a ton with my choice and I know the gospel is true with every fiber of my being! I want to share a quote that was read today to the Young Women:
"Walk to the edge of the light, and perhaps a few steps into the darkness, and you will find that the light will appear and move ahead of you. We must walk by faith. That means stepping into the dark unknowns because we believe that Heavenly Father is awaiting us".
President Harold B. Lee
P.S. Is it christmas yet??????? I am dying here!
11 comments:
Wow, Tiffany. Good luck with your decision, whatever it is. What does Terry think?
Happy to hear that things are slowing down for you. Have you started Christmas shopping yet?
Tender post Tiff. Thanks for sharing those stories. You're awesome and I know you'll be blessed for your faith.
Sometimes those are the words we all need to hear, thanks for sharing. It's in the Lord's hands, whatever happens was supposed to happen. Good Luck.
You are such a jem. I can't help but think of all our similarities and think how much the Lord knew us and knew we'd NEED the gospel in our lives to get through these challenges!
Faith is the greatest thing and after the expereinces and stories you were given yesterday I'd say the Lord is VERY aware of your faith, desires, and needs.
I will keep you in my prayers and just hope that if another baby is meant to be a part of your family (and with all the STRONG feelings you're having, I'd say its highly likely) than you'll be blessed and protected.
2nd Nephi 4:34-35 was the scripture "given" to me in the temple that reassured me there would be another baby, and thats where this little one's middle name is from- TRUSTin.
much love!!!
Well said my friend! We've been making some big decisions lately too. Just needing some clarity in my life, and a direction. Thanks for posting that.
What a special story during your sacrament meeting! It got me crying. Most things regarding faith and having a child do these days! It is hard when you feel like you don't get an answer for something and just feel like you are not hearing it. Your words gave me some good things to think about, Thank You!
Thanks so much everyone! I am so in love with this whole bloggin world and it touches me so much when I read your comments! All of you are so great! Much love back at cha!
I would never call the desires to create an eternal family "stupid and selfish". The power of procreation can be a very emotional and huge decision. Keep us updated! I imagine that it is very difficult with your circumstances to choose.
Wow. I love those powerful moments when the Spirit speaks to you. I have had a few situations lately where I have been praying about things, and felt no clear decision. I too realized it was because the Lord trusted me to make my own decision. Either way would have been fine.
Although your situation is precarious, you will be fabulous! You are such a great example of a mother. Sometimes I envy your calm disposition. I can't wait to hear what happens!
I miss you Kissy!!!!
You sound like me when I am analyzing if we should be done having kids or not...and in all reality, prayer, and thought I have had...it all boils down to what the Lord wants is what will happen...I still don't have an answer one way or another, but I am starting to feel less stressed about it. It does have everything to do with faith and trusting that He knows what is best...sometimes we don't get the answers we want right off the bat either. You guys will figure it out when the time is right.
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